Such is the way my year has begun. I've begun to expect nothing less. Not that I feel like I deserve anything more, mind you. I am but a humble servant. (Perhaps I need to work on the humble part a little bit more.) But in my rush and bustle to pick up the pieces, my capacity to 'serve' seems to have been misplaced. I don't feel like the balls that I work so hard at keeping in the air are the ones that He wants me to keep airborn. Though I am not certain. I listen for His voice. I search for a sign from Him. And I pray for direction, and I will continue to pray. I know that what I do is important in and of itself. It is important to be here for my family, to give them faith and hope, to work hard and function as I do in the capacity that I do. I try to be a good person and to carry Him with me where I go, to reach out to others, to make my world larger. Sometimes though, the challenges overwhelm me.
It is then, that I know I have to rise above it and try harder. Be better, stronger, more faithful. But can I? Can I be that person?
Today it is especially difficult. Today, my body betrays me. I am sick. Again. I struggle with pain and fatigue. It has been weeks. Strep throat followed by a terrible cold. Three weeks of that and then just when the sniffling and sneezing had finally gone away and I seemed to be free of symptoms I went to bed and during the night on Tuesday I coughed. Just once. But that one cough was telling. It was in my chest. And it hurt. Burned. By the time morning broke, my voice was about gone, and I was feeling quite terrible. I went to work and as the day progressed, so did my symptoms. More coughing, fever, fatigue, headache and general malaise. I called to schedule an appointment with the doctor but could not get in until this morning. So at 7:45 I went in and met with her. Before she examined me she asked me to explain what was going on so I did. I told he my symptoms and said it felt like it was in my bronchial tubles. She examined me and said that I was extremely congested and that sure enough I had bronchitis that was working its way into pnemonia. I feel lousy! But, back to work. Hoping to leave early, taking a break now to blog. Ha!
Dropped off my prescriptions with Jim so he can get them filled for me.
Monday is our 30th wedding anniversary. Thirty years! Jim made reservations to take me to a nice inn on the river not too far from here. Just the two of us. Dinner first. Fireplace and hot tub in the room, and I am not going to be sick! Pray that the medicine works! I could really use a break.
This is the place.
We were there once before, 15 years ago. But it snowed, and snowed and snowed and we had to leave early. Turned into a blizzard really. Luck never was our thing. Hopefully this time will be better!
Also, keep my family in your prayers if you will. Though I hesitate to say this I feel like I must put it out there. My cousin is missing. It has been over a week now. He is an adult, married and a paramedic. He was talking to his wife on the cell phone from his car and then the phone went dead, nothing since. The police found his car, it was burned. No sign of him. Nothing. Pray. My aunt is a wreck as you can well imagine. Her son. His wife is sure that he will be fine. Everyone just want him home. Pray. Please.
LORD, on the basis of Your Word, I ask that you spread Your protection over me this day. Keep me from all harm, and watch over my life. Watch over my coming and my going both now and forevermore. Be a wall of fire around me, Lord. Let Your favor surround me like a shield. Give Your angels charge over me to guard me in all of my ways. Thank You, Lord, that Your angels are encamped all around me–to rescue and deliver me from all evil, harm, destruction, disease, and defeat! (Psalm 5:11; Psalm 121:7-8; Zechariah 2:5; Psalm 5:12; Psalm 91:11; Psalm 34:7)
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