Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Life After Shoes

It was time.  I didn't want to do it, but I had put it off long enough.  It has been my experience that this is something that most women don't mind doing.  Some even-dare I say it, like it.  Not me.  No.  For me, this has become something more akin to root canal, or a pelvic exam.  By now you are probably wondering what in the heck I am talking about so I will put you out of your misery, I am speaking of the dreaded act of shoe shopping.  That's right.  You read it correctly, shoe shopping.  For many this is an all to pleasurable experience, but for me it can be an act of pure torture.  I have come to dread it.  As a matter of fact, I have been known to come home from shoe shopping in tears.  I know what you are thinking, this woman is nuts!  But hear me out, look at it from my perspective.  This is what I dream of:
Pretty high heels.
Or this:
Cute, fun, designer sandals.
Then I go into the store and start trying shoes on.  Most of the time I don't even get a salesperson to help me because thoughts of Al Bundy sweating trying to shove a size 6 shoe onto the fat woman with a size 10 foot keep running through my head.  When it comes to my feet, picture this:
I'm not talkin' Wilma.  Yea', that's me.  Fred Flintstone.  Flat, wide, stout feet.  Get the picture.  Now add to that the fact that I spend most of my day on my feet, have let's just say muscle 'issues' and, I can be rather difficult to fit.  I have been out shopping and tried on no less than 30 pair of shoes and not been able to successfully get my foot into one pair.  It is not a fun process.  So, this evening after work and therapy I stopped at a store that was recently opened by a podiatrist.  He measured my foot on some fancy digital thingy and said 'My, you do have flat feet, and wide, and very flat!'  Um Hmmm.  'And one foot is flatter than the other, is that possible?'  he said.  'You're the doctor'  I replied.  'And one leg is significantly shorter than the other, has anyone ever told you that?'  'Well, yes.  I'm sure I've heard that somewhere along the line.'  Anyway, he had shoes that fit, and that are comfortable.  But in finding shoes that are comfortable and that fit you give up a few things.  Like style and a price.  So this is what I got.
Not bad, it is totally comfortable and not ugly but kinda clunky.
And this:
This one is patent leather, hard to see in the picture.  When Jim saw it he was surprised, said it was nice and  pretty, that I didn't usually get pretty shoes!  So, there you go.  Here's the kicker, my bill -and here is where I put the warning in, if you have a weak heart you may not want to read any further- don't say I didn't warn you! 
For 2 pair of shoes.
Now, do you know how many pair of shoes I could have gotten if I wore normal people shoes?  If I went to regular stores and was able to shop like I normally do and get them on sale and then add a coupon on top of it with a super saver or something.  At least six pair-at least.  And a couple of bottles of wine.  Just sayin'.
But it is a necessary evil.  Much as I hated to do it. 
In my next life I'm gonna come back with cute little feet like my mother.  She has these dainty little pretty feet.  Ladies feet.  What's worse is that they are put on the end of slim, beautiful legs, that men (particularly my father) fall over themselves for.  I, on the other hand got my Dad's good German stock and my legs look like tree trunks with wood blocks plunked on the bottom of them! 
Oh well, at least I got shoes on them now.

1 comment:

  1. Love the first pair!

    Found you over at Angie's blog! Nice to meet you. Following along with you now!

    Traci @ Ordinary Inspirations