Tuesday, May 1, 2012

4 Verses 4 Hundred 44!

When did watching TV become so complicated?  All I want to do is sit down and turn on the TV and watch a program once in a while.  Seems easy enough right?  WRONG!  It used to be, but then we had to go and make things, better, faster, easier.  To understand what I'm referring to we have to go back a while.

Now, I may be dating myself here but I can remember when prompted, back to 'The Old Days'.   If I think about it hard enough, and you will recognize the symptoms because you will see the steam coming from my ears, the color rising in my face and sweat pouring down my forehead, to when you had to wait for the TV to warm up before the picture came on.  Do you remember that?  No.  Well, how about this.  Back then, there were only 4 channels to choose from!  Another thing, there was no such thing as a remote contro, the closest thing that our parents had to that was wellk-US.  "Hey, kids, get up and change the station for me will ya'?"  And of course we all know that question was rhetorical, because children in those days didn't say 'no' to their parents.  I'm not kidding.  Oh yeah, and get this, you're not going to believe it, but I speak only the truth here.  TV went off the air!  Really.  So, if you fell asleep with the TV on and you woke up hours later in the middle of the night, there was nothing on.  Maybe just the American Flag waving, but most likely just a buzzer buzzing.  Relentlessly.  Then nothing came back on until like six o'clock in the morning and then you had a choice of the morning news, cartoons or Romper Room.  Romper Room was our version of pre-school because normal run of the mill kids didn't go to school until the started Kindergarten.  If you went to school before Kindergarten it was because your parents were a) Rich b) Super Religious or c) Well, there was something wrong with you.

Romper Room

Oh, yeah!  TV.  So, anyway.  Then somewhere along the line came the advent of at home movies.  What a great idea, right?  You can watch cinematic masterpieces at home for much less than the cost of going to the movies and far more convenient.  You only have to purchase the machines and you can then choose to either rent the movies or if you would prefer you can purchase them.  Then comes the difficult part, you have to hook the machine up to your TV and make the two work together in harmony.  One thing let to another and another and technology grew and got better and faster and now we have our choice of dish or sattelite or Fios and I don't even know what the stuff is.  We have more channels than any one can possibly need!  The movie channel, the cartoon network, DIY, and Reality, Cooking and Home Improvement, Cloo, Family, Hallmark, far too many to mention. 
This is what's strange.  You can be watching a show and if the doorbell rings, you can pause it and go get the door and come back and start the show up again and miss nothing!  Totally cool, right?!  I can record shows I want to see with the push of a button, making my VCR pretty much obsolete.   So, I got the system figured out, it took me a while (a looong while) but I got there and I'm cruising along and I could operate the TV.  I was feeling pretty pleased with myself.  Then one day Mr. Wonderful says out of the blue that he was thinking of dropping our carrier because of some nonsense like he thought it cost too much money.  Like he  could get a better deal elsewhere and maybe he would start exploring options.  I didn't say much because he usually has to explore ALL options.  Well the next day I come home from work and he has switched carriers-it's done.  New dish on the roof and everything, new remote the whole shebang!  Well, I thought it would work just like the old one, but NOOOOO!  The channels aren't even the same.  I have to learn a whole new system.  And let me tell you, technology and me, we are not friends!
The other day I wanted to play a DVD of Adele in my Scrapatorium while I was working.  I Love Adele and like to listen to music while I work, so thought this was a good choice.  So, I have three remotes in my hands, one for the TV, one for the DVD and one for the dish thing.  All just to try and play one DVD.  I couldn't get the darn thing to play!  I pressed this button then that one, selected the button on the top left and got some menu, knew that was what I was looking for, pressed a button, put me back at the beginning again.  Started over.  The TV turned off.  Turned it back on, pressed the button, turned the DVD player on, pressed another button, the frickin' TV laughed at me!  Mr. W. wasn't home to help me, I was going to call Michelle but knew that by the time she finished laughing and then told Shawn and he finished laughing I would have forgotten what I had called about.  So I stuck it out and eventually got the darn thing on without throwing one remote out the window.  But I'm telling you, in the time that it took me to get the DVD to play Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt could have adopted another three kids.  Why is it so difficult!  I just want to watch my show! 
The real problem is this: now we have 444 channels and there is still nothing on!  Well, a few things:

(But one can not live on David alone!  Besides, he's only had repeats on lately and I need something new.)

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