Struggling

I must say, this is hard.  I am trying to keep my faith, to know that there is a purpose, a plan.  Sometimes it is difficult.  23.  Daniel was just 23.  His big brother went out looking for him when he didn't show up and didn't answer his cell phone, saw an accident and didn't think too much about it but when he still couldn't find him went back.  Spoke to the police.  Found out about the make of the car, gave the police his name.  Was told the driver of the car didn't make it.  It is just heartbreaking.  No chance to say goodbye, just gone, in the blink of an eye.  It can happen like that.  Now his family is planning for his funeral. He was too young, gone too soon.  God must have a plan, but it is not for us to know, not to be revealed to us yet.  But I know that he was welcomed into the kingdom of Heaven by our Saviour and his Grandmother and I take comfort in that.  He is free from pain.  I worry not for Daniel, but for my brother Peter.
Now I am trying to plan my trip to California to be with my family.  To be together to mourn, to grieve, to remember.  My parents are flying in from Florida on Wednesday morning, my sister from Ohio on Thursday morning, my two sisters from Vermont may not be able to make it.  It is difficult, they still have small ones.  It is  Easter and one of them has a birthday on Easter.  She wants to celebrate her birthday and who can blame her?  Given the choice that is certainly what I would rather be doing!  But, we're not given the choice.  Children don't always understand that and that's okay, let them be kids for a while.  I have to go alone, without my husband or my children, can't afford for all of us to go.  Being a holiday the airlines can take you for whatever they can get you for and the rates are too high for the family to go.  Timmy is moving on Sunday and Jim had committed to helping him, with Tim's schedule it is difficult to find days' off.  Excuses, maybe.  Yes.  Still.  Too much.  Trying to get it all together, pull myself together, remember what I may be forgetting and get moving.  Here I am blogging...
Please lift our family up in your hearts and in your prayers.  We will need it over these next few days and weeks.  Especially those in California, it will be especially difficult for those who were used to seeing him and being with him on a daily basis.  Pray.  Please...